Non GAA quotes

Sporting Funnies

• This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.'(Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator)


• "Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago" (David Coleman) *


• "We now have exactly the same
  situation as we had at the start of therace,only exactly the opposite" (Murray
  Walker) *


• "He's pulling him off! The Spanish
  manager is pulling his captain off!" (RTE's George Hamilton on Spain manager
  Luis Suarez's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier
  with Ireland in Seville,1992).


• * "The black players at this
  club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players
  in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common
  sense." (Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991).


• * On the difficulties of adjusting
  to playing football and living in Italy:>"It was like being in a foreign country"
  (Ian Rush)


• * "Bill Frindal has done a bit
  of mental arithmetic with a calculator" (John Arlott) * "Hodge scored for
  Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play" (Peter Lorenzo)
  


• * "We actually got the winner
  three minutes from the end but then they equalized" (Ian McNail)


• * "I've never had major knee
  surgery on any other part of my body" (Winston Bennett)


• * "The lead car is absolutely
  unique, except for the one behind it which is identical" (Murray Walker)


• * "I owe a lot to my parents,
  especially my mother and father" (Greg Norman)


• * "Sure there have been injuries
  and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious" (Alan Minter)


• * "The racecourse is as level
  as a billiard ball" (John Francombe)


• * "If history repeats itself,
  I should think we can expect the same thing again" (Terry Venables)


• * 'We'll still be happy if we
  lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival' (Noel O' Mahony, Cork
  City boss before the game in Munich)


• * 'I would not say he (David
  Ginola) is the best left winger in Premiership, but there are none better'.(Ron
  Atkinson).


• * 'He dribbles a lot and the
  opposition don't like t - you can see it all over their faces.' (Ron Atkinson)
  


• * 'I never comment on referees
  and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat' Ron Atkinson)
  


• * 'It took a lot of bottle for
  Tony (Adams) to own up.' (Ian Wright - commenting on his teammate's alcoholism)
  


• * 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife
  of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.' (Harry
  Carpenter - BBC TV Boat race 1977)


• * 'Here we are in the Holy Land
  of Israel - a Mecca for tourists.' (David Vine)


• * 'Morcelli has four fastest
  1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres.' (David Coleman)
  


• * 'Julian Dicks is everywhere.
  It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.' Metro Radio)


• * ' ....and later we will have
  action from the men's cockless pairs...' (Sue Barker).


• * 'Her time is about 4.33, which
  she's capable of.' (David Coleman)


• * Dennis Pennis: 'Have you ever
  thought of writing your autobiography?' Chris Eubank: 'On what ?'


• * 'Sex is an anti-climax after
  that !' Grand National-winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald. 'Well, you gave the
  horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that' (Desmond Lynam)


• * 'To play Holland, you have
  to play the Dutch.' (Ruud Gullit)


• * 'Well , either side could win
  it, or it could be a draw.' Ron Atkinson)


• * 'For those of you watching
  in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip' (John Motson)


• * 'Strangely, in slow motion
  replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.' David Acfield)


• * 'What will you do when you
  leave football, Jack- will you stay in football?' Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live
  )


• * 'I'd like to play for an Italian
  club, like Barcelona' (Mark Draper - Aston Villa)


• * there goes Juantorena down
  the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class' David Coleman at
  The Montreal Olympics)


• * 'And for those of you who
  watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts
  turn out like Fanny's' (David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day)


• * '...and Ray Illingworth is
  relieving himself in front of the pavilion' (John Arlott)


• * 'These greens are so fast they
  must bikini wax them' (Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta)


• * 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold
  Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out
  his balls and kisses them - Oh my God, what have I just said?' (USTV commentator)