All that is Best in GAA Women.

AFR's Patent Guide to All that is Best in GAA Women.
July 16th 2003.

After many years of patient 'hands on' research, so to speak, in many parts of Ireland, An Fear Rua is pleased to announce his Patent Guide to All that is Best in GAA women:

'Are ya sure ya've had enough to drink, love?

' 'Shouldn't you be down at the club with yer mates?

' 'That was a mighty fart! Do another one!'

'I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. I hope ya don't mind. '

'You're so sexy when ya're hungover.'

'Now don't you dare lift a finger! You just relax there until yer mates call round. '

'Yer mother is much nicer than mine. '

'Will I drop yerself an' yer mates off at the lap dancing club? '

'Why would I need more than three pairs of shoes? '

'No, that's OK, love. You use the phone an' I'll just chat to my friends whenever I see them.'

'I only need one small suitcase. Sure we're only going away for a week'

'Ah God no. Mindless celebrity gossip doesn't interest me. '

'I hate all those tight curls. I'm clean shaven! '

'Darling, I 've signed up for Yoga classes so that I can get my ankles behind my head, just for you. '

'I'm so glad ya switched from that oul hospital 'soap' I was watching an' put on 'Ard San Aer'

'Omigod, if I don't blow ya soon I swear I'm gonna explode. '

'C'mere! I make enough money for the both of us. Why don't ya retire forty years early? '

'Let's subscribe to 'Playboy'

'Ah no, it's OK, love. I'll take the car to get the oil changed. '

'I love it when ya play football or hurling on a Sunday'

'Ah, c'mere love. The new neighbour's daughter is out sunning herself again. Have a look. '

'Come an' we'll go over to the shopping centre an' ya can check out the women's asses. '

'I'd rather watch the Qualifiers on TV with you an' drink a few beers, instead of goin' shoppin'

'Listen, do me a favour. Forget that stupid Valentine's Day thing an' get yerself a new pair of sneakers.

' 'I'd love to go on a nudist holiday for a change.'

'Of course, I understan'. Our anniversary happens only once a year an' ya go out with yer mates. It shows ya're loyal.'