Limerick County Jokes
A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 65 degree heat with 95% humidity.
At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Limerick.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man,and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his slurry pit in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Limerick
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 60 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. The man was instead singing louder than ever,twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,
"Cold day in hell, Limerick must have won the All Ireland.
----------------------
Taken from the Examiner ... the day after the draw with Tipp on the 10th of June 2007
Their manager Richie Bennis said afterwards that was where they rallied: “We knew the character of this team. If you’d been in the dressing room at half-time you’d see that. They made me want to hurl and I’m 62 years of age.”
Limerick Supporters at the Munster Final 2007
Memory Man
An Irishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner with his tribal gear on, long white plaits, and an incredibly wrinkled face.
"Who's he?" said the Paddy.
"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go on, try him out."
So the Irishman goes over, and thinking that he won't know anything about hurling, asks "Who won the 1996 Munster Semi Final played in the Gaelic Grounds?"
"Limerick," replies the Memory Man.
"Who did they beat?"
"Clare," was the reply.
"And the score?"
"15 points to 1-13."
"Who scored the winning point?"
"Ciarán Carey," was the old man's reply.
The Irishman was knocked out by this and, when he returned home, Told all his friends and relatives about the amazing Memory Man.
Five years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the Impressive Memory Man again. Eventually he found the bar and there, sitting in the same seat, was the Indian, looking older and even more wrinkled.
The Irishman was delighted to see him, and, deciding to greet the Indian in his native tongue, approached him with the greeting "How".
"Solo-run out of the half back line." replied the Memory Man.
---
Burger King in Limerick City
-------
Limerick Again
A scout for Patrickwell GAA club were sick of Cork Club success especially the likes of Sean Og and the Fijean connections.. He went looking for new talent in the war-torn Bosnian Region in Yugoslavia. Maybe an Irish peace keeper had taught an illegitimate son a bit of stick work, On watching a football match there one day he spots an amazing talent and resolves to take him to Ireland to play for Patrickswell and maybe Limerick. The youngster, dying to get out of his horrible existence, agrees.
Back in Ireland that year Patrickswell and their arch rivals in Cork, Newtownshandrum are neck and neck, entering into the semi of the club championship.
To make matters more tense, they are playing each other in the last game.
At 15 points each going into the last minute of the game the ball drops to Slavan, Patrickswell new Bosnian prodigy, who runs past 3 Newtown players to score the winning goal. Soon after there are wild celebrations as Patrickwell celebrate their win.
Slavan is hailed as a hero and invited by the manager to guzzle back champagne back in the dressing room with the rest of the team. But before doing this, Slavan insists that he be able to ring his mother at home to tell her the good news.
On the phone to his mother, he says "Guess what mum, you won't believe what happened here today, we won the game and I scored the winning goal and I'm a hero....."
His mother interrupts ".....you selfish ba*tard", she says "you are always thinking of yourself. Do you have any idea what happened to us today. Your father has been killed, your sister was taken away from us and given a good seeing to, and our house has been burnt to the ground!".
"But Mum, your not being fair. You're acting as if all this was my fault", says Slavan.
You're damn right it is", she replies. "It was your fu*kin' idea for us to move to Limerick....!!!"
-------
Open Letter Regarding Gang Warfare In Limerick
Dear Independent,
I do not buy your newspaper, in fact i think it is ****, but I have to agree with your recent assessment of the Limerick gang wars.
I was born in Cork, but brought up in Moyross, one of the most notorious wastelands in Europe (weekly mortality rate 34%, apparently). According to a recent study by "The Weekly World News", it is the third most likely place in the world where you could be the victim of an alien abduction. The same article, on which you clearly base most of your information, states that "one council estate in limerick has a nuclear arsenal surpassing that of the US, Russia, and the UK combined."
There is no question that the recent gang wars are a prelude to something greater. On the grapevine (obviously the same one as you lot are on), I have heard that one of the rival factions has a 40km2 training camp in a secret location near Fedamore. In addition, two members of the St Mary's Park gang recently visited Kazakstan and swapped 75 tons of cocaine for three nuclear warheads and a jar of smallpox.
If I were you, I would definitely print this tomorrow in your newspaper, it's a hot story, nearly as hot as the stuff that was in it today! Of course, some of the gangs, such as the one who abducted the two brothers last week, do this purely at random. According to one report from a Web Site that is about as reputable as your newspaper, the same gang abducted 3,748 Limerick residents from their homes last week, 1,211 of whom are still missing. The Limerick authorities have contrived to keep this quiet, frightened of the "bad press". This is inexcusable when newspapers as impartial as yourselves can be relied upon to report "the action" as it happens as reliably as possible.
You may think that my bitterness toward Limerick is unwarranted, but my personal story will prove otherwise. Having lived in Moyross for 16 years, it is hard to remember a week in which I was not stabbed, shot, or lost a loved one. From an early age, balaclava-wearing, medallion- loving gang members roam the streets, murdering, pillaging, looting. Then they go home and eat their dinner before organizing a few drive-by shootings that evening.
In one week in early 1997, I was shot five times in one day - twice in "the Lobster Pot" (that's a fast food restaurant, not a part of my body). It is because of this that plans are afoot to give free "woundcare" to everyone within fifteen miles of Limerick.
I suggest you go to any hardware store in Limerick and ask them what their weekly turnover on knife sales is. Then, make up a figure that suits your story... Let's say $23.5 million (always sounds more credible in dollars, doesn't it?). Then, throw in a few Libyan guerrillas, those two leading Palestine separatists who are currently in Ireland, and mention the REAL IRA a few times (everyone in Limerick is a member of the real IRA, you can even put in a special paragraph about gang members getting discounts in local Chinese restaurants, but you probably knew that already), and bingo, it's a story. Don't forget to add in the most important keywords though, namely "local", "knife", "Southill", "Prospect", "St Mary's Park area", "Moyross", "gun", and my personal favourite (well, i'm cheating here because it's an expression), "city cordoned off".
Limerick is clearly on the brink of extinction. I have only touched the surface... I can't say anymore because I am writing this letter from an Internet Café and I have to be home before dark (Police curfew, 5:30 p.m).
-------
Limerick's Live 95FM
MAL KEAVENEY
Most likely to say: "The most versatile sportsman of them all AN OTHER is a later withdrawal from the Limerick team."
Least likely to say: "I think this dual player thing is blown out of all proportion."
-------
Heard this at Mass one Sunday.
The priest was giving the sermon and the theme was happiness and a real mad hurling man Sean was at Mass. Anyway the priest was going around the crowd and making examples of happiness....He spotted Sean in the crowd and said that happiness for Sean Sweeney would be for "Llimerick to win the All Ireland" to which Seans stood up blessed himself and said out loud "Lord Graciously hear us".
The whole place fell apart and the priest nearly couldn't say the rest of Mass.
-----------------
Star Wars - Limerick Style
Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he'd only be about 6'6 tall, from "The Ciddy" and have no name .He'd have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and wear a leather waistcoat. LOVE and HATE would be tattooed to his knuckles. He'd work as a bouncer in Kilmurry Lodge.
Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as the Big Fella . People trying to start a fight with him would refer to his mother or describe him as "you big fucking knob".
Darth Vader would referred to as 'Buckethead' or in moments of stress 'Bucket-Headed-Langer'. He would be a member of the McCarthy family.
Princess Leia would be called Princess Leanne and would have her hair dyed blonde since she was 12. She and her 5 year old would live in the Chicken Hut and would be a prime catch.
R2D2 would refuse to go out on the streets after 10pm because of the number of students who would try to puke into him or tie their bicycle to him, or take him home to decorate their sitting room in Elm Park. He would also refuse to go the Ennis Road for fear of being run over by a drunken Volvo driving Ralph Lauren clad rugby player.
Although proficient in over 3500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone who worked on the DELL line said. He would be referred to in the local vernacular as "a fucking queer".
The Millennium Falcon would have alloy wheels, no hubcaps and would often be found abandoned near the Roxboro roundabout. It would have a 2FM Abrakebabra sticker in the back window and a Supermac's 'Up Limerick!' sticker dating from 1996 on the windscreen .
Princess Leia would get captured by Darth Vader because it's hard to run very fast when you're wearing 5inch platform heels and a tiny silver mini-skirt which keeps hiking up over your arse every two steps. Especially through piles of puke outside Supermac's. And you really want to get caught anyway. They all do .
The best way to destroy the Death Star would not necessarily be a desperate all out attack. Two easy ways would be leave it in a kitchen in a random house in Elm Park overnight. It will either be eaten by drunken students, be fed illegal substances or simply perish from the stench.
OR
Put it between the Residents Association and the Students Union on Thursday of Rag Week, Abandon it outside the Chicken Hut on a Saturday night .
Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-
Han Solo "I've got a real bad feeling about this"
Limerickese: "I's shiitin' bricks boys"
"Bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."
Limerickese: " Are you lookin for a fight ?"
"There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny."
Limerickese: "Force. I know I'm no Fuckin student but that's a load of bollix"
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Limerickese: "Fuck what that wanker of a priest says - a knife, boys that's all you need in this town to survive!"
Darth Vader trying to shoot down Luke Skywalker - "The Force is strong in this one"
Limerickese: "the mouldy little slippery bollix"
"This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade."
Limerickese: "This can of shit is gonna get us killed ya bollix lets go rob a car in Castletroy and use that instead"
Admiral Motti - "Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader."
Limerickese: "You think you're that hard, ya bollix Vader so you do. We're not Fuckin scared of you."
( the limerick vocabulary is quite limited)
-------------
--------
------
A Limerick Man, A Clare Man and a Tipp Man were in a bar one night having a beer. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE CLARE MAN DOWNS HIS BEER, THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES AND SAYS "IN CLARE OUR GLASSES ARE SO CHEAP THAT WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK FROM THE SAME ONE
TWICE".
THE TIPP MAN IMPRESSED BY THIS, DOWNS HIS BEER, THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS GUN AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES AND SAYS "WELL IN TIPP WE HAVE SO MUCH SAND TO MAKE THE GLASSES THAT WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK
OUT OF THE SAME GLASS EITHER".
THE LIMERICKMAN, AS COOL AS A CUCUMBER, PICKS UP HIS BEER AND DRINKS IT.
THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS GUN AND SHOOTS THE CLARE MAN AND THE TIPP MAN AND SAYS "IN LIMERICK WE HAVE SO MANY FUCKING CLARE AND TIPP MEN, WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONES TWICE".
-------------
Ouch
During the 1997 NHL campaign Wexford and Limerick were throw together in Enniscorthy,a re-match of the 1996 All Ireland. The National Anthem was sung by an out of tune lady(very bad). On the way out after the match a Limerick supporter was heard to say
"You think in place this size they'd have a band to play the anthem!"
A Wexford supporter remembering that the limerick team had broken early from the parade in Croker replied,
"You want a band? You crowd want a band?, Ye's had the best band in Ireland in September and ye's wouldn't even walk behind them". Good point!
------
Tourism chiefs hit out at prank ad ridiculing Limerick
22/08/2007
Tourism chiefs and political leaders today rounded on pranksters behind a bogus advertisement ridiculing Limerick as a polluted, lawless and trigger-happy backwater.
The spoof Fáilte Ireland promotion lampoons the city as an ideal destination for sightseers to watch drive-by shootings, muggings and Piebald ponies crashing through housing estates.
Kevin Sheahan, Limerick County Council chairman, branded those behind the internet broadcast, which is being passed around the country on mobile phones, as sick.
“The people who do this have twisted minds and it’s a case of what mad notion will they wake up with tomorrow morning,” he insisted.
At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Limerick.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man,and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his slurry pit in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Limerick
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 60 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. The man was instead singing louder than ever,twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,
"Cold day in hell, Limerick must have won the All Ireland.
----------------------
Taken from the Examiner ... the day after the draw with Tipp on the 10th of June 2007
Their manager Richie Bennis said afterwards that was where they rallied: “We knew the character of this team. If you’d been in the dressing room at half-time you’d see that. They made me want to hurl and I’m 62 years of age.”
Limerick Supporters at the Munster Final 2007
Memory Man
An Irishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner with his tribal gear on, long white plaits, and an incredibly wrinkled face.
"Who's he?" said the Paddy.
"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go on, try him out."
So the Irishman goes over, and thinking that he won't know anything about hurling, asks "Who won the 1996 Munster Semi Final played in the Gaelic Grounds?"
"Limerick," replies the Memory Man.
"Who did they beat?"
"Clare," was the reply.
"And the score?"
"15 points to 1-13."
"Who scored the winning point?"
"Ciarán Carey," was the old man's reply.
The Irishman was knocked out by this and, when he returned home, Told all his friends and relatives about the amazing Memory Man.
Five years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the Impressive Memory Man again. Eventually he found the bar and there, sitting in the same seat, was the Indian, looking older and even more wrinkled.
The Irishman was delighted to see him, and, deciding to greet the Indian in his native tongue, approached him with the greeting "How".
"Solo-run out of the half back line." replied the Memory Man.
---
Burger King in Limerick City
-------
Limerick Again
A scout for Patrickwell GAA club were sick of Cork Club success especially the likes of Sean Og and the Fijean connections.. He went looking for new talent in the war-torn Bosnian Region in Yugoslavia. Maybe an Irish peace keeper had taught an illegitimate son a bit of stick work, On watching a football match there one day he spots an amazing talent and resolves to take him to Ireland to play for Patrickswell and maybe Limerick. The youngster, dying to get out of his horrible existence, agrees.
Back in Ireland that year Patrickswell and their arch rivals in Cork, Newtownshandrum are neck and neck, entering into the semi of the club championship.
To make matters more tense, they are playing each other in the last game.
At 15 points each going into the last minute of the game the ball drops to Slavan, Patrickswell new Bosnian prodigy, who runs past 3 Newtown players to score the winning goal. Soon after there are wild celebrations as Patrickwell celebrate their win.
Slavan is hailed as a hero and invited by the manager to guzzle back champagne back in the dressing room with the rest of the team. But before doing this, Slavan insists that he be able to ring his mother at home to tell her the good news.
On the phone to his mother, he says "Guess what mum, you won't believe what happened here today, we won the game and I scored the winning goal and I'm a hero....."
His mother interrupts ".....you selfish ba*tard", she says "you are always thinking of yourself. Do you have any idea what happened to us today. Your father has been killed, your sister was taken away from us and given a good seeing to, and our house has been burnt to the ground!".
"But Mum, your not being fair. You're acting as if all this was my fault", says Slavan.
You're damn right it is", she replies. "It was your fu*kin' idea for us to move to Limerick....!!!"
-------
Open Letter Regarding Gang Warfare In Limerick
Dear Independent,
I do not buy your newspaper, in fact i think it is ****, but I have to agree with your recent assessment of the Limerick gang wars.
I was born in Cork, but brought up in Moyross, one of the most notorious wastelands in Europe (weekly mortality rate 34%, apparently). According to a recent study by "The Weekly World News", it is the third most likely place in the world where you could be the victim of an alien abduction. The same article, on which you clearly base most of your information, states that "one council estate in limerick has a nuclear arsenal surpassing that of the US, Russia, and the UK combined."
There is no question that the recent gang wars are a prelude to something greater. On the grapevine (obviously the same one as you lot are on), I have heard that one of the rival factions has a 40km2 training camp in a secret location near Fedamore. In addition, two members of the St Mary's Park gang recently visited Kazakstan and swapped 75 tons of cocaine for three nuclear warheads and a jar of smallpox.
If I were you, I would definitely print this tomorrow in your newspaper, it's a hot story, nearly as hot as the stuff that was in it today! Of course, some of the gangs, such as the one who abducted the two brothers last week, do this purely at random. According to one report from a Web Site that is about as reputable as your newspaper, the same gang abducted 3,748 Limerick residents from their homes last week, 1,211 of whom are still missing. The Limerick authorities have contrived to keep this quiet, frightened of the "bad press". This is inexcusable when newspapers as impartial as yourselves can be relied upon to report "the action" as it happens as reliably as possible.
You may think that my bitterness toward Limerick is unwarranted, but my personal story will prove otherwise. Having lived in Moyross for 16 years, it is hard to remember a week in which I was not stabbed, shot, or lost a loved one. From an early age, balaclava-wearing, medallion- loving gang members roam the streets, murdering, pillaging, looting. Then they go home and eat their dinner before organizing a few drive-by shootings that evening.
In one week in early 1997, I was shot five times in one day - twice in "the Lobster Pot" (that's a fast food restaurant, not a part of my body). It is because of this that plans are afoot to give free "woundcare" to everyone within fifteen miles of Limerick.
I suggest you go to any hardware store in Limerick and ask them what their weekly turnover on knife sales is. Then, make up a figure that suits your story... Let's say $23.5 million (always sounds more credible in dollars, doesn't it?). Then, throw in a few Libyan guerrillas, those two leading Palestine separatists who are currently in Ireland, and mention the REAL IRA a few times (everyone in Limerick is a member of the real IRA, you can even put in a special paragraph about gang members getting discounts in local Chinese restaurants, but you probably knew that already), and bingo, it's a story. Don't forget to add in the most important keywords though, namely "local", "knife", "Southill", "Prospect", "St Mary's Park area", "Moyross", "gun", and my personal favourite (well, i'm cheating here because it's an expression), "city cordoned off".
Limerick is clearly on the brink of extinction. I have only touched the surface... I can't say anymore because I am writing this letter from an Internet Café and I have to be home before dark (Police curfew, 5:30 p.m).
-------
Limerick's Live 95FM
MAL KEAVENEY
Most likely to say: "The most versatile sportsman of them all AN OTHER is a later withdrawal from the Limerick team."
Least likely to say: "I think this dual player thing is blown out of all proportion."
-------
Heard this at Mass one Sunday.
The priest was giving the sermon and the theme was happiness and a real mad hurling man Sean was at Mass. Anyway the priest was going around the crowd and making examples of happiness....He spotted Sean in the crowd and said that happiness for Sean Sweeney would be for "Llimerick to win the All Ireland" to which Seans stood up blessed himself and said out loud "Lord Graciously hear us".
The whole place fell apart and the priest nearly couldn't say the rest of Mass.
-----------------
Star Wars - Limerick Style
Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he'd only be about 6'6 tall, from "The Ciddy" and have no name .He'd have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and wear a leather waistcoat. LOVE and HATE would be tattooed to his knuckles. He'd work as a bouncer in Kilmurry Lodge.
Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as the Big Fella . People trying to start a fight with him would refer to his mother or describe him as "you big fucking knob".
Darth Vader would referred to as 'Buckethead' or in moments of stress 'Bucket-Headed-Langer'. He would be a member of the McCarthy family.
Princess Leia would be called Princess Leanne and would have her hair dyed blonde since she was 12. She and her 5 year old would live in the Chicken Hut and would be a prime catch.
R2D2 would refuse to go out on the streets after 10pm because of the number of students who would try to puke into him or tie their bicycle to him, or take him home to decorate their sitting room in Elm Park. He would also refuse to go the Ennis Road for fear of being run over by a drunken Volvo driving Ralph Lauren clad rugby player.
Although proficient in over 3500 languages C3P0 would still be unable to understand anything anyone who worked on the DELL line said. He would be referred to in the local vernacular as "a fucking queer".
The Millennium Falcon would have alloy wheels, no hubcaps and would often be found abandoned near the Roxboro roundabout. It would have a 2FM Abrakebabra sticker in the back window and a Supermac's 'Up Limerick!' sticker dating from 1996 on the windscreen .
Princess Leia would get captured by Darth Vader because it's hard to run very fast when you're wearing 5inch platform heels and a tiny silver mini-skirt which keeps hiking up over your arse every two steps. Especially through piles of puke outside Supermac's. And you really want to get caught anyway. They all do .
The best way to destroy the Death Star would not necessarily be a desperate all out attack. Two easy ways would be leave it in a kitchen in a random house in Elm Park overnight. It will either be eaten by drunken students, be fed illegal substances or simply perish from the stench.
OR
Put it between the Residents Association and the Students Union on Thursday of Rag Week, Abandon it outside the Chicken Hut on a Saturday night .
Lines from the film as they would be uttered in the vernacular:-
Han Solo "I've got a real bad feeling about this"
Limerickese: "I's shiitin' bricks boys"
"Bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around."
Limerickese: " Are you lookin for a fight ?"
"There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny."
Limerickese: "Force. I know I'm no Fuckin student but that's a load of bollix"
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Limerickese: "Fuck what that wanker of a priest says - a knife, boys that's all you need in this town to survive!"
Darth Vader trying to shoot down Luke Skywalker - "The Force is strong in this one"
Limerickese: "the mouldy little slippery bollix"
"This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade."
Limerickese: "This can of shit is gonna get us killed ya bollix lets go rob a car in Castletroy and use that instead"
Admiral Motti - "Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader."
Limerickese: "You think you're that hard, ya bollix Vader so you do. We're not Fuckin scared of you."
( the limerick vocabulary is quite limited)
-------------
)
Limerick - your not a lady
I have nothing against Limerick. Nacy Blake's is a top spot but its reputation is fearsome. Enough said. They know where I live.
Click on the picture to see it in its original size
--------
)
Grand Theft Auto - Limerick Style
Nice one . some one did a bit of work here (not a limerickman obviously).
Click on the picture to see it in its original size
------
A Limerick Man, A Clare Man and a Tipp Man were in a bar one night having a beer. ALL OF A SUDDEN THE CLARE MAN DOWNS HIS BEER, THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES AND SAYS "IN CLARE OUR GLASSES ARE SO CHEAP THAT WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK FROM THE SAME ONE
TWICE".
THE TIPP MAN IMPRESSED BY THIS, DOWNS HIS BEER, THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS GUN AND SHOOTS THE GLASS TO PIECES AND SAYS "WELL IN TIPP WE HAVE SO MUCH SAND TO MAKE THE GLASSES THAT WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK
OUT OF THE SAME GLASS EITHER".
THE LIMERICKMAN, AS COOL AS A CUCUMBER, PICKS UP HIS BEER AND DRINKS IT.
THROWS HIS GLASS IN THE AIR, PULLS OUT HIS GUN AND SHOOTS THE CLARE MAN AND THE TIPP MAN AND SAYS "IN LIMERICK WE HAVE SO MANY FUCKING CLARE AND TIPP MEN, WE DON'T NEED TO DRINK WITH THE SAME ONES TWICE".
-------------
Ouch
During the 1997 NHL campaign Wexford and Limerick were throw together in Enniscorthy,a re-match of the 1996 All Ireland. The National Anthem was sung by an out of tune lady(very bad). On the way out after the match a Limerick supporter was heard to say
"You think in place this size they'd have a band to play the anthem!"
A Wexford supporter remembering that the limerick team had broken early from the parade in Croker replied,
"You want a band? You crowd want a band?, Ye's had the best band in Ireland in September and ye's wouldn't even walk behind them". Good point!
------
Tourism chiefs hit out at prank ad ridiculing Limerick
22/08/2007
Tourism chiefs and political leaders today rounded on pranksters behind a bogus advertisement ridiculing Limerick as a polluted, lawless and trigger-happy backwater.
The spoof Fáilte Ireland promotion lampoons the city as an ideal destination for sightseers to watch drive-by shootings, muggings and Piebald ponies crashing through housing estates.
Kevin Sheahan, Limerick County Council chairman, branded those behind the internet broadcast, which is being passed around the country on mobile phones, as sick.
“The people who do this have twisted minds and it’s a case of what mad notion will they wake up with tomorrow morning,” he insisted.
Labels: Championship, Cumann Luthcleas Gael, Football, GAA, Gaelic Athletic Association, Hurling, Jokes, Michael Cusack, Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh, The Sunday Game, Up for the Match
posted by Michael at 3:24 PM
