Galway County Jokes
Another classic I've been told involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the AGM. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionable diplomacy. Amidst the row, a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.
The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shoite that sickens my hole."
-------------------------------
Loyal GAA Supporter ....
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in South Roscommon and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Roscommon fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Roscommon fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Roscommon fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Roscommon fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a Cork fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Cork fan?"
"Because my Mum and Dad are from Cork, and my mum is a Cork fan and my dad is a Cork fan, so I'm a Cork fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Cork fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Galway fan."
-----
Galway Bay FM
SEÁN WALSH
Most likely to say: "I don't want to be biased but what was the referee at there?"
Least likely to say: "And Galway have won their second All-Ireland title in-a-row."
--------
Another classic I've been told involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the Agm. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionable diplomacy. Amidst the row a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.
The chairman stood up and said 'Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole'.
----
Last year Cork Galway Hurling playoff in Thurles - the Rock was marking one Eugene Cloonan, and the Rock was giving it loads, facing off with Cloonan etc etc anyway Cloonan got away from Scully and a woman behind me roars "Jesus Christ Diarmuid, what are ya at bhoy? 'sur yer only marking a baby" - well ye had to be there
--
"Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard" -- Tipp fan on the Galway legend.
-----
"Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech" -- John O'Mahony.
--------
posted April 26, 2004 02:08 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Got this emailed to me today...dunno if ye have heard it before, well here it goes....
---------
A young woman in Galway was so depressed that she decided to end
her life by throwing herself into the Atlantic Ocean.
She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing
water when a young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier,
crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for.
I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving
closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, I'll keep you happy,
and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded Yes, After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a
fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the
sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every
night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate
love until dawn. Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by The captain.
"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.
"I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. This is the Arran Islands Ferry."
-----------------------
Here is the tale of one Killererin corner forwards meeting with one
Noel Tierney (Galways legendry three in a row full back) in a club match
back in the sixties.
Kilererin fella: "Well I was after scoring two points off me man and
Tierney, who was full back didn't like it one bit. Tierney says anyways
to the corner back "Will ya don't be lettin' him in like that again!" But
byjaysus the next time I got the ball didn't I skin the corner back
again.
As soon as I was around him I remember Noel Tierney coming towards me
with a shoulder. Next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital!"
The chairman stood up and said: "Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shoite that sickens my hole."
-------------------------------
Loyal GAA Supporter ....
A primary teacher starts a new job at a school in South Roscommon and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Roscommon fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Roscommon fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Roscommon fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well, if you're not a Roscommon fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a Cork fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Cork fan?"
"Because my Mum and Dad are from Cork, and my mum is a Cork fan and my dad is a Cork fan, so I'm a Cork fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Cork fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and car thief, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Galway fan."
-----
Galway Bay FM
SEÁN WALSH
Most likely to say: "I don't want to be biased but what was the referee at there?"
Least likely to say: "And Galway have won their second All-Ireland title in-a-row."
--------
Another classic I've been told involves the Ballygar-St. Brendan's hurling club in Galway where a major dispute reared it's head at the Agm. The chairman is reportedly a straight-talking bachelor of questionable diplomacy. Amidst the row a newly appointed priest took the floor commenting on how the GAA should be a focal point for the 2 parishes, not a source of argument. He continued on about how everyone should pull together for the good of the club and see the club as a unifying force.
The chairman stood up and said 'Thanks a lot for that now Father, but that's the kind of shite that sickens my hole'.
----
Last year Cork Galway Hurling playoff in Thurles - the Rock was marking one Eugene Cloonan, and the Rock was giving it loads, facing off with Cloonan etc etc anyway Cloonan got away from Scully and a woman behind me roars "Jesus Christ Diarmuid, what are ya at bhoy? 'sur yer only marking a baby" - well ye had to be there
--
"Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard" -- Tipp fan on the Galway legend.
-----
"Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but when they win, it's an inspirational speech" -- John O'Mahony.
--------
posted April 26, 2004 02:08 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Got this emailed to me today...dunno if ye have heard it before, well here it goes....
---------
A young woman in Galway was so depressed that she decided to end
her life by throwing herself into the Atlantic Ocean.
She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing
water when a young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier,
crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for.
I'm off to America in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving
closer, he slipped his arm round her shoulder and added, I'll keep you happy,
and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded Yes, After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a
fresh start in America would give her life new meaning. That night, the
sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every
night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate
love until dawn. Two weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by The captain.
"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.
"I get food and a trip to America, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. This is the Arran Islands Ferry."
-----------------------
Here is the tale of one Killererin corner forwards meeting with one
Noel Tierney (Galways legendry three in a row full back) in a club match
back in the sixties.
Kilererin fella: "Well I was after scoring two points off me man and
Tierney, who was full back didn't like it one bit. Tierney says anyways
to the corner back "Will ya don't be lettin' him in like that again!" But
byjaysus the next time I got the ball didn't I skin the corner back
again.
As soon as I was around him I remember Noel Tierney coming towards me
with a shoulder. Next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital!"
Labels: Championship, Cumann Luthcleas Gael, Football, GAA, Gaelic Athletic Association, Hurling, Jokes, Michael Cusack, Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh, The Sunday Game, Up for the Match
posted by Michael at 3:22 PM
