Dublin County Jokes

Dublin Fans (and one Mayo Fan), Hill 16 Croke Park

Would make a great caption competition!!!(double click picture to increase size)

If anyone has any pictures or jokes, send them onto michael (at) gaa.irish-guy.com or leave a comment at the bottom of the page







Click on the picture to see it in its original size

Dublin Fans, Hill 16, Croke Park

Going up in smoke (double click picture to increase size)

If anyone has any pictures or jokes, send them onto michael (at) gaa.irish-guy.com or leave a comment at the bottom of the page







Click on the picture to see it in its original size

-------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between a Dublin GAA jersey and a school uniform??
You can see school uniforms in September.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Garda getting hit with a bottle from the Hill

Dublin - Da kapital

---

Who Wants To Be A GAA Millionaire
Dublin Football Fan is appearing on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". Gay Byrne: Dublin Football fan you've done very well so far, 64,000 euros and one lifeline still left, you can phone a friend, yes indeedy, the next question will give you 125,000 euros if you get it right but if you get it wrong you will be out of the game and drop to 32,000 euros. Are you ready?"

Dublin Football Fan: "Yes Gay I am"

Gaybo: " On the screen is a photo of a current Dublin footballer as a baby. Which Dublin player is it - now think about this carefully it's worth 125,000 euros, only three questions away from the million."

Dublin Football fan: "I think I know who it is... er... but I'm not 100% sure, no I'm sure it's Stynes, I'm sure it's Brian Stynes (pause), can I phone a friend Gay just to be sure ?"

Gaybo: "Yes Dublin Football Fan who do you want to phone?"

Dublin Football Fan: "I'll phone Anto, He's a Dublin football fan too."

(ringing)

Anto: "Hello"

Gaybo: "Hello Anto, this is Gay Byrne here from RTE's Who Wants To Be A Millionaire I have Dublin Football fan here and he is doing really well on 64,000 but needs your help to get to 125,000 - Anto, listen Anto, are you next to the fax machine as this is a visual question? I'm faxing you a photo now, have you received it ?"

Anto: "Yes, Gay"

Gaybo: " The next voice you hear will be Dublin Football Fan's - he'llexplain the question and you have 30 seconds to answer - fire away DublinFootball Fan"

Dublin Football Fan: "Anto, that photo is a baby photo of what currentDublin footballer - I'm sure it's Stynes what do you think ?"

Anto: "It's never Stynes, it's obviously Keith Barr."

Dublin Football Fan: "You think?"

Anto: "I'm sure. One hundred per cent."

Dublin Football Fan: "Thanks Anto "(hangs up)

Gaybo: "Well a difference of opinion - do you want to stick on 64,000 or play on for 125,000 euros? "

Dublin Football Fan: "I want to play, I am so sure it's Stynes I am going to go with me first answer - Stynes"

Gaybo: "Are you confident"

Dublin Football Fan: "Yes fairly"

Gaybo: "Is that your final answer"

Dublin Football Fan: "It is"

Gaybo: "Dublin Football Fan .....you had 64,000 and you said Brian Stynes - if it's right you win 125,000 if it's wrong you go away with just 32,000 euros [drum roll ..............................] It was WRONG - sorry Dublin Football Fan. Here is your cheque for 32,000 euros. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for the Dublin Football Fan"

[clapping............]

Dublin Football Fan: "Before I go Gay - what was the correct answer, it's killing me"

Gaybo: "Jason Sherlock"

-----

A Corkonian thesis from a UCC final year project which received a 1.1

Dublin was founded in the 8th century by the Vikings, when they realised that the best way to cause lasting damage to the country was to build what leading Viking at the time, Hagyar Ringsend, termed "A shithole for the ages".This statement was proved true over time. Luckily for the rest of Ireland, Dublin is located on the east coast.This means that the prevailing south westerly wind generally takes the smell across the Irish Sea to Britain. In the 1950's Britain retaliated by building Sellafield nuclear power station.The Irish Sea is now one of the cleanest in the world, the radiation from England and the filthy pus and bile from Dublin nullifying each other. It is a pity for us all that Dublin is not located 50 miles further east. However, many "Dubs", or "Gobshites" as they are known to the rest of us, would go even further! This is because Dublin is all that remains of what was once called "West Britain". Dublin people share many characteristics with the English ! ! people, including an amazingly low alcohol tolerance, ridiculous accents and the ability to get into a barroom brawl with Mahatma Ghandi and Mother Teresa. Indeed, many young Englishmen come to Dublin for "stag nights"- not for the nightlife, but because all of the sluts there are falling over themselves to be impregnated by anything with a foreign accent in order to claim "choil'benefih'", or "children's' allowance" as it is called in the civilized world. But beware! Dublin beer is much more expensive than ordinary beer.This is because it is watered down with expensive mineral water.

You see, due to Dublin being a pox ridden eyesore which leaks revolting pus into our beautiful land, they have no clean tapwater. In fact, 86% of Dubliners don't even know what a tap is (the other 14% knew that it had something to do with beer). As a result, the beer is watered down with mineral water, as I said, and now the average Gobshite must fork out well over the odds for a pint. But don't ! ! let this put you off visiting cosmopolitan Dublin, where absolute knackers mix freely with some of the world's snobbiest bastards. Let the heroin, car theft, annoying whinger bastards, syphilis infested prostitutes and Europe's crappest traffic system put you off going there instead. Exits are by road, air and sea only, and are usually quite busy, so be patient. VISIT CORK. For information on Cork, please contact the tourist board on 021 343434. It's worth it.

Ah Dublin! Capital of Ireland. Europe's smallest capital and also its smelliest. Step off a train at Heuston or Connolly station and breathe in that unmistakable aroma of piss and puke. But it's the people of Dublin who make our capital city what it is. We call them 'Jacks' because of a visit to Dublin by Queen Victoria which saw the locals line O'Connell Street while waving union jacks at their visitor. Ask anyone with even half a brain how many counties there are in Ireland and they will tell you 32. But not ! ! our friends in Dublin. For some bizarre reason they firmly believe there are only two:
1)"Dooblin"and
2)"dowen da coontry".

Next time you're in Dublin, check out the excellent selection of Radio Stations, both of which play the same five songs all day. Whether it's 98fm or 104fm, tune in at any time of the day to hear Robbie Williams and The Lighthouse Family. You'll never get tired of it !!! Anyway, here are the ten most asked questions about Dubs: Why do Dublin people piss in the streets instead of a toilet? Why do they refer to all other Irish people as Sheep Shaggers when we all know damn well what they're doing with those horses. A man from Ballyfermot (probably called Anto) recently got divorced from his cousin so he could marry his horse. Why is their knowledge of Irish geography restricted to "da nart soide and da sout soide"? Why does their knowledge of Irish history go all the way back to the 1980's? Why do they complain about "doze bleedin' n! ! iggers coming over here taking ere women and ere jobs" when Paul McGrath is "yer only man" and "God Bless Phillo"? What the fuck language are they speaking? Why is hurling a culchie game until Dublin win a match when it suddenly becomes"Hooorlin',da fastest field sport in da bleedin' wooorld".? Why can't they go for a drink without trying to stab each other afterwards? Why can't they accept Aslan are never going to make it 'cause they're Shite? Why are they all still wearing track-suits?


Dublin V Kerry Replay in Thurles 2001 - Attention Important Notice


Attention Dubliners: Important Notice

Arising out of the confusion that took place in Thurles the other Saturday,
the GAA has issued the following notice to all Dublin supporters travelling to
away games outside of Dublin...

• Please note that the DART and the M50 may not go all the way to the Match.
  
• The grass verges outside the Stadium may not be used for grazing ponies.
  
• If you see a local man standing on a street corner scratching his arse.
  you can presume that he is a local man scratching his arse. He is not
  selling syringes, E's or cocaine.
  
• Not all women you come in contact with in pubs, clubs etc are sluts and
  roids.
  
• Drinks may not be paid for in pubs with either a wink or a nod.
  
• Music before the match and during half time will be supplied by the
  Garda No. 1 Band and not Aslan or some other crappy ancient Dublin rockers.
  
• While the match may be over at 5.30 pm, please note that you probably won't
  make it back to Dublin in time for the Simpsons at 6.30.
  
• Anyone driving home from the match please ensure that YOU DO SO IN YOUR
  OWN CAR AND NOT THAT OF SOME HARD-WORKING LOCAL.

  
  

Croke Park in Dublins Glory Days

---
The definitive guide to Dublin Scangers
1.. Call your mother "aul one" and your father "aul lad".
2.. Possess bum fluff on upper lip. (also applies to "young ones").
3.. Social life revolve around "Doctor Quirkey's, de "Harp" or "De Back Gahe" (The Back Gate).
4.. Always have a 10 box of "johnny blue" on you.
5.. Faded blue levi's rammed up the **** must be worn sometimes accompanied by the raggedy yellow or orange Asics tracksuit top.
6.. Enormous sovereign rings worn on every finger. For the girls large and studded hoopy earrings are your only man.
7.. Diamond jumpers and Scanda Jacket essential part of wardrobe. These compliments the tracksuits down to a tee.
8.. Lots of experience in sitting down back of bus and terrorising people as well as grafitti on seats.
9.. Standing at the door of the Dart and wishing your wares upon 'every bitta skert' that comes near you has also been known to be popular.
10.. Posters of Tupac to be placed on bedroom wall. For girls David Beckham or Ronan Keating will suffice.
11. Always carry a packet of Rizla.
12.. Portrait of **** embedded into at least one corner wall.
13.. Chain hanging out over jumper.
14.. Know the Macari's Takeaway menu off by heart.
15.. Be mates with a Doyler, Rayo, Whacker, Git or Mousey.
16.. Girls are all called Natalie, Jasinteh, Janet, Imeldeh, Maggie, Sharon or Tracey. notthat some of these aren't nice names but when said with an accent from the 'Mun you could cut bread with, then they take on another significance.
17.. Moped essential as is driving around with the helmet on top of the head.
18.. Pram and small child essential for the young up and coming knackerette.
19.. Spit on pavement at least every three seconds.
20.. All your relatives live on the same street.
21.. Nearest thing to nature you have been is swimming and fishing in Canal or swearing at culchies when they come up "from the f***hin country".
22.. Copy of the Sun in back pocket at all times.
23.. Pretend to follow League of Ireland football but only go for the fights.
24.. Celtic jersey with own name on the back.Constantly have scowl on your face.
25.. "Buuurdd" must be at least "preggers" or have a "little f**ker".
26.. Rotweiller essential to keep up the hardman image and tell people who even look crossways at it that you'll "bate de f**hkin bollix off them, you English pox" even if they're from Cabinteely.
27.. City center consists of Henry and O Connell streets - the odd venture to Donnybrook kiddies disco for the "oul soft roide" is necessary at least once a month.
28.. Get extra points for shagging your mates motts and your cousins at
> >these events.
29.. Left school before 16.
30.. Time spent from June to October is collecting for bon-fire.
31.. House called something imaginative like "Celticsville".
32.. Name written on at least ten lamposts around your house. i.e. Anto=a queer or Natalie=is a man.
33.. Shrill whistle at everyone and walk with arms swinging and exaggerated limp.
34.. Common greetings called out to friends include "Stary?" or "Ahh rihe Shaymo?"
35.. Name must end with an o at the end.(Example Anto, Rayo,Pado, Micko and with and ie sound for the girls Nahalie, Tracey.
36.. Summer holidays are always in Courtown and you think its the best thing since sliced bread.


----
Surviving in Dublin

This is a highly personalised guide to the verbal life of de cappitel city
of Ireland.
The lessons:

1) SURVIVAL OF THE MEEKEST

Dublin is a tough city on the face of it. Most of the aggression is
ritualistic and it is essential to know how to deal with basic street
encounters. Technically speaking, the streets are full of:
- bowsies
- hardmen
- hardos
- gougers
- hardshaws
- and many other assorted tough type characters that roam the streets
looking for excitement and throwing shapes.

It is essential not to stare at these gentlemen, especially if you have a
non-Dubbelin accent. You must cultivate an intense vacant stare and respond
with such monosyllabic mutterings as "whah?", "hoh?", the less common but
equally inoffensive "nggggguh?", or any other meaningless grunts that might
imply mild intoxication and/or a non-educated disposition.
If, by misfortune or dogged stupidity, you happen to look at these people
straight in the eye, you will be assumed to have challenged them. They will
consequently confront you with: "You lookin at me pal?" or "Got a bleedin'
problem mate?"

The answer to this confontationallly sensitive encounter is ALWAYS:
"Sorry" followed by a rapid exit (i.e, a "leggar").

If you respond: "No", the gouger will duly feel obliged to ask:
"You callin me a liar?"
And then you are in the much-feared "deep ****e" zone (see later lesson for
involuntary excretions). The only way to alleviate the tension in this
difficult situation is to pretend to be Danish. That will leave them baffled
long enough for you to run like the "jayzis".


2) THE PUB

Dubliners are constantly on the look out for being set up in conversation in
"de pub". They will constantly question the veracity of overheard statements
with a contemptuous negation, such as in the following scene:

Person1: "Manchester United are bleedin' fantastic".
Person2: "They are in me **** ".

Sobriety is seen as pityful affliction which may be remedied by copious
pints of stout and lager. There are numerous names for this, most of which
are also used elsewhere in Ireland and even further afield, but it is
important to be fluent in all of them:

- Flutered
- Hammered
- ****ed
- Stocious
- Mouldy(pronounced mowl-dey)
- Bollixed


3) PEOPLE

a) The use of nouns for different categories of people is very regular and
simple:
- Males are fellahs
- Females are wans
- Boys are then youngflas
- Girls are then youngwans
- Oldermales become oulflas but your father is THE oulfla
- Olderwimmin are oulwans but your mother is THE oulwan

Note: oulfellas and oulwans also belong to the class 'AJH' (Ah Jaysus Howye)

b) Regions.
Dublin has now expanded enormously but in olden days it was divided into two
parts by the River Liffey:
The Nortside (where all true Dubbeliners live) and De Soutside (full of
homosexuals, foreigners, academics, teetotallers, etc.). This classification
is no longer valid as Da Soutside now has some very respectable places like
Tallaght, Ballyfermot, Drimnagh, Crumlin and Clondalkin.

c) Culchies are those from any part of the globe who is not foreign and who
does not speak with a pronounced Dubbelin Accident. They work in the civil
service and police, listen to Daniel O'Donnell or Big Tom and are also known
as:
- bog men
- boggers
- muckers
- mucksavages
- culchies
- mulchies
- munchies
- red necks

It is the worst possible insult to be called one of these names if you are
from Dublin. You must respond with immediate violence or emmigrate.


4) ACTIVITIES

Expect to see regular nightly excursions by 10 year-old kids driving cars at
high speed around residential areas before leaving them blazing away on a
sidewalk. Fondly referred to as "joy-riding", this extreme pursuit provides
regular Northside Dublin children with a healthy adrenalin rush and a bit of
respite from busy schedule involving truancy/drug
thing/prostitution/racketering.

--------

He'll regret this to his dying day, if he lives that long. - Dublin fan after Charlie Redmond missed a penalty in the 1994 All-Ireland final.
-------
Under new guidelines the GAA have issued a new rule.

1. The Basic guide lines are as follows:-

2. As from the 25th of June when Dublin make a sub they do not have to take any player off.

3. Australian Rules Goals will be introduced, these will be swapped from end to end depending which way the GAA...whoops I mean, which way Dublin are playing.

4. In the event of the match being level after 70 minutes Dublin will win.

5. A new backdoor will be introduced, if Dublin lose, they will be out into the Backdoor, if they lose again they may Join the Championship again at the time and date of their choosing.

6. The Dublin goalkeeper may wear rather large comical gloves, to ensure that the ball does not go past him.

7. A Sin-Bin will me introduced - if any opposing players names begin with Mc (e.g McCarthy / McGrath) they will be suspended for a period until Dublin are winning.

8. Hill 16 will be renamed "The Bulmers Hill"

9. If Dublin win the "Mini Sevens" game at half time, their winning margin will be Doubled and added to Dublins half time score.

10. All other teams must have the County Name wrote in the foreign language of English on their jerseys - all money from this rip off trick must be given to the "Bulmers Hill Support Fund"

11. If Dublin are drawn against a team from Ulster ( now to include Laois )
- the Ulster Team will forfeit the game.

12. As part of the deal giving Laois to Ulster, Fermanagh will now join the Leinster Championship - Dublin will be drawn to play Fermanagh in the Hurling Championship ever year.

13. In a rule taken from Cricket - if it rains during the game Dublin will win.

14. Opposing teams must wear sandals.

15. Ginger haired midfielders may not play against Dublin.

16. Balloons (such as those used to aid children playing bowls ) will be used to assist the Dublin Free takers.

17. Dessie Dolan must take all the opposing teams frees.

18. The opposition must include at least one Mayo forward.

19. No other team on the country may wear the colour Blue


----------------
A Rant - by Fionn O'Connor-Walsh - Southsiders on the GAA
GAA? That's like sooo uncool roysh, bloody boggers and I mean TOTAL boggers...
Roysh, i was loike snoggin Jemoima Fitzpotrick last noight dine in Bective roysh ond she's from Killoiney and oll roysh ond she has her own cor and stuff but when I went to pick her up at Fitzpotick towers who was there at the door ownlee her old mon and I couldn't believe it when he said 'hows your faader' roysh - he was born in Kinnitty which is somewhere down the country, REALLY in the bog roysh- totally flobbergosted I was roysh but I think she's still a roide loike roysh even if her Dad is a Biffo.

I mean like those boggers are like totally taking over this place. Roysh, I can't get onto the 46A or the Dort without meeting some woollyback up here doing Orts in UCD. I can't use my mow-boyle with the noise they make.
I heard there's like this total bogger Je Fellon who like thinks he can stort playing rogby, talk about uncool. I mean like St. Jorloths in Tuam is hordly Clongowes. Being a postman is like so medieval, I mean could his old man not like fix him up with a proper job?

--------

Under new guidelines the GAA have issued a new rule. The Basic guide lines are as follows:-

• As from the 25th of June when Dublin make a sub they do not have to take any player off.
  
• Australian Rules Goals will be introduced, these will be swapped from end to end depending which way the GAA...whoops I mean, which way
  Dublin are playing
  
• Teams playing Dublin may not travel to the game on Bus, but via the Iraqi Triathlon.
  
• In the event of the match being level after 70 minutes Dublin will win.
  
• A new backdoor will be introduced, if Dublin lose, they will be out into the Backdoor, if they lose again they may join the Championship again at the time and date of their choosing.
  
• The Dublin goalkeeper may wear rather large comical gloves, to ensure that the ball does not go past him.
  
• A Sin-Bin will be introduced - if any opposing players names begin with Mc (e.g McCarthy / McGrath) they will be suspended for a period until Dublin are winning.
  
• If Dublin win the "Mini Sevens" game at half time, their winning margin will be doubled and added to Dublin’s half time score.
  
• If Dublin are drawn against a team from Ulster (now to include Laois) - the Ulster Team will forfeit the game.
  
• As part of the deal giving Laois to Ulster, Fermanagh will now join the Leinster Championship - Dublin will be drawn to play Fermanagh in the Hurling Championship ever year.
  
• In a rule taken from Cricket - if it rains during the game Dublin will win.
  
• pposing teams must wear sandals.
  
• Ginger haired midfielders may not play against Dublin.
  
• Balloons (such as those used to aid children playing bowling) will be used to assist the Dublin Free takers.
  
• Dessie Dolan must take all the opposing team’s frees.
  
• The opposition must include at least one Mayo forward.
  
• No other team on the country may wear the colour Blue.
  

---------

Dublin's Core Fans

Taken during the Leinster Final Day 2005

Don't know if they thought they might get a discount or whether there are two young Jackins in there (standing on shoulders). Still, I see the bearded "Dubliners" - rare auld timers lokking on. Could be an anti-rape disguise when taking your life in your hands on da "Hill"


Click on the picture to see it in its original size

-------------

TOOL and all as he is, the old man's solicitor ended up playing a blinder
in court, roysh, and I ended up getting my, like, driving licence back on the
grounds that I shouldn't have been given penalty points for my passenger
not wearing a seatbelt because my passenger was basically a driving instructor,
roysh, and driving instructors don't have to wear them. Cut a long story
short, roysh, the feds focked up big style and though I wouldn't normally
be one to gloat, I couldn't resist the temptation to turn up at Donnybrook
last Sunday to let them know the ledge is back on four wheels again.

As luck would have it, roysh, the bogger who actually pulled me is behind
the counter when I walk in, just standing there with his big mulchie mouth
open, waiting for someone to throw turnips and cabbages into it.

I just, like, slap the old licence down on the counter, roysh, and he goes,
"What's thash, eh?" making no effort to hide what he is, and I end up
going,
"That would be the driving licence of the handsome, rugby legend, sex
machine called Ross O'Carroll-Kelly that you tried to take away."

Suddenly he cops who I am, roysh, but before he has a chance to say
anything, I just go, "Go back to focking Templemore. And listen this time,
" and then I'm out of there.

It actually puts me in cracking form for the night, roysh. I was meeting
the goys . . . we're talking Oisinn and JP . . . in Slapper Face Jacks of all
places. Not that we make a habit of going there, roysh, but to be honest
we've been overfishing the waters of Anabel's, Reynords and the Club of
Love the last few weeks, so we decided . . . as we sometimes do . . . to go agricultural.

Of course Sunday was All Ireland final day, roysh, which meant Slappers was
wall-to-wall Eileens and Noleens that night.

So there's the three studs up at the bor, roysh, JP saying how inter-county
jerseys are the most unflattering garment a bird can put near her body,
Oisinn coming back from the can white-faced, saying he just met a bird who
was wearing Blue Stratos, and you get the idea, roysh, we're ripping the
total piss.

'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' comes on, roysh, and of course the three goys hit
the dance-floor and stort giving it loads. I ended up dancing with this
total Noleen . . .

"May O, " she goes when I asked her where she was from . . . and when the
music slowed down, roysh, I asked her did she want a drink. I'm there,
"Bacardi Breezer?

Smirnoff Ice?" and then under my breath, "Ivomec?"

She doesn't hear the last bit, roysh, but of course the goys do and I can
hear them, like, high-fiving each other behind me. So I buy her a drink,
roysh, and we get chatting and it's, like, the usual vibe you get off
bogger birds, keeps referring to Dublin as "the big shmoke" and calls everyone
including other birds "lads".

We're talking big-time chip on her shoulder here and it takes a good hour
of spadework before I've persuaded her to take me back to hers for a few
intercounty games of our own. As we're leaving the building, Oisinn hands
me a packet of love zeppelins and goes, "You might need these.

Protect you from HIV, hepatitis, mastitis, liver fluke and cattle grubs."

Her gaff turns out to be her cousin's bedsit on the Merrion Road, roysh . .
.

definitely the last time I go rural . . . and there I am about to throw the
lips on her when all of a sudden, we're talking totally out of the blue,
she goes, "I want you to wear something for me."

Of course I'm about to take out the little packet Oisinn gave me, roysh,
when all of a sudden she produces this big box and what's in it . . . you are SO not going to believe this . . . a focking SUPERMAN suit.

I'm there, "You are seriously yanking my chain if you think I'm putting
that on, " but she goes, "It's a fantasy of mine. If you don't want to do it,
you know where the door is."

I'm thinking, well, no one's going to see me, roysh, so to cut a long story
short I end up putting it on. Of course the focking thing's, like, 10 sizes
too small for me, roysh, but I have to say it shows up my abs and pecs
pretty well.

The next thing, roysh, she produces a set of handcuffs and I'm there, "Let
me guess. This fantasy of yours wouldn't involve chaining Superman to the
bed, would it?"

She's like, "Just give me your hands, " and, game for pretty much anything
after eight or nine pints, I let her snap the old bracelets on me.

That's when she turned into Cathy focking Bates.

The next thing she does, roysh, is she whips out her mobile and storts
going, "Lads, I caught one, " and I'm there, "Oh my God! What the fock is
going on?" She's going, "Get over here quick, " and all I can think about,
roysh, is that scene from Pulp Fiction, where the two boys get basically
rogered senseless and then I'm wondering who she's got coming . . . maybe
some Mayo version of Zed . . . and I'm wondering are they going to produce
the gimp.

Ten minutes later, roysh, three birds show up and the bird that I pulled
goes, "We're off to Marbella now.

For two weeks, " and I turn around to her and I go, "You could have had the
night of your life with me, " and she goes, "I did. Lads, stick the CD on,
"
and one of the birds . . . pig-ugly if the truth be told . . . lashes on
that focking Katie Melua song, we're talking 'Crazy' here, and she puts it
on repeat and then the four of them fock off, presumably to the airport?

I must have listened to the song 50 focking times before one of the
neighbours, like, heard my screams and called the feds. And you KNOW who
the first cop through the door was when they booted their way in, don't you? Of
all the feds in this townf When he's stopped laughing, roysh, he goes,

"I've no cutting equipment on my person. And I don't want to go troubling the
fire brigade. Sure we'll take you and the headboard back to Donnybrook and I'll
see can any of the fellas there find a hacksaw."

I'm there, "We're driving, I presume, " and he goes, "No, it's a nice
morning. Let's walk."

For as long as I live, roysh, I'll never forget the sneer in his voice, as
we're walking up Adelaide Road, roysh, me in the Superman suit, with two
coppers either side helping me carry the headboard, like your man Jesus
carrying the cross, and him . . . a bogger . . . going, "Is it a bird? Is
it
a plane?"

_________

Hell is being a neutral amongst Dublin Supporters


---------------

Two Dubs "businessmen" were sitting down
for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn`t ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick
culchie is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we`re selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a
curious Corkman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Cork accent asked "What are ye sellin`here boys?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We`re selling @rse-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the Corkman said,

"Jays ye`re doin well ... Only two left!"

------------

Heard a good one today.

What's the difference between a Dublin GAA jersey and a school uniform??


You can see school uniforms in September.

-------------------

What do you call a Dublin man with an all Ireland medal?

An antique dealer!

---------------

For sale 35,000 senior all Ireland football final tickets, hotel deals
included with most...for details contact any Dublin club chairman or
log onto www.chokedagain.com ....quick sale
wanted or would be willing to swap for 15 all Ireland medals!!

----------------

What's the difference between a Dublin GAA jersey and a school uniform??


You can see school uniforms in September.
------------------

Did you hear about the dublin bra?

All support and no cup!!

---------------

What do you say to a Dub on All-Ireland Final day?



2 hot dogs please