Wicklow County Jokes

Wicklow Knacker

Wicklow knacker walks into a Sports Shop. He says 'Howya, boss. Any jobs going, boss. lovely day, boss'.

The shop owner says, 'Listen don't call me boss. Don't call anyone boss. They will know that you're a knacker. Go home, clean yourself up and come back to me.'

Wicklow knacker goes home, gets a haircut and a suit, has a shower and comes back to the shop. 'Good afternoon sir, I was wondering would there be any vacancies in your shop at the moment' Shop owner replies, 'As it happens I do. You look very familiar'. Wicklow knacker says, 'I was in last week sir, you told me to come back'.

Shop owner: 'God, you look great! Well done! Let's do a trial run. The next customer that comes in, I will serve them and show you how it's done. Then you can have a go and we'll see how you get on'

A customer walks in. 'Hi, I was looking for a tennis racket'. Shop Owner replies, 'Is that for grass or hard surface? There is a big difference in the type of racket you need'. Customer: 'I didn't know that. Thanks a million. It's for a grass court'. Shop Owner: 'Ok then, sir. Over there on the high shelf are all the grass court rackets. Have a look and help yourself'. The customer chooses the one he likes, pays for it, thanks the shop owner and leaves the shop.

Shop Owner to the Wicklow knacker, 'Now you see how it's done. Here comes another customer. You have a go'.

Wicklow Knacker: 'Good afternoon sir. How are you today? Welcome to our shop and how can I help?'

Customer: 'Good afternoon to you too. I am looking for a baseball bat'.

Wicklow Knacker: 'No problem sir, we have a large supply. Would that be for a Wicklow Club Hurling or a Football match?'