Waterford County Jokes

You can get many of these jokes and many more at UptheDeise.com

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Don't Stop Belayvin

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What's Blue & White and goes beep beep beep?

The Waterford open top bus reversing back into the garage.

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Why are Waterford called the Deise?

Coz dey shud have won dis, dey shud have won dat.

(Works better when spoken.)
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During the 2007 Munster Hurling Final a Dog ran onto the field,

Some of the players made attempts to catch the dog but failed.

Eventually John Mullane approaches the Dog, The Dog lies down quietly and Mullane picks him up and make his way to the sideline and gives the dog to one of the stewards.

A fan a few rows behind me Blurts out "Isn't nature great all the same, the way that every dog knows their own"

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Typical Waterford Fan

The first Citizen of Waterford CD - heads off to the Eurovision in turkey

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Poor Kid...
Two boys are playing hurling in the people's park, when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his hurl, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.
A local newspaper reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Young Waterford Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Waterford fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Waterford, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again.
"Little Wexford Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Wexford fan either," the boy said.
"I assumed you were a Wexford fan given your friend is wearing a Wexford Jersey, What team do you support?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Kilkenny fan." the child said smiling.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,
"Little Kilkenny Rogue Kills Beloved Family Pet."


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Local Radio Broadcast Spraoi 2003...
Last August weekend Spraoi opened on Friday night despite heavy rain. On Saturday morning the sun shone clear from the heavens. The sproai organiser, asked on WLR if he was anxious about the weather, said: "Ah no. I've had a message from God. Last night's rain was a mistake. He got the date wrong. It was actually the Kilkenny Arts Festival he wanted to p*#s on."

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Letter to the Irish times...
Thu, 08 July 2004 13:11

Madam,

I was visiting your beautiful country when my country, Greece, fought its way into the European cup final by bravely defeating the favoured Czech Republic. On the following day, Friday, July 2nd, I travelled from Cork to Rosslare.

Imagine my surprise and delight to find that almost the entire route especially between the towns of Youghal and New Ross - was gloriously festooned with the blue and white colours of Greece!

Such overwhelming support of one small country for another brought tears of joy to my eyes. I wish to express my heartfelt gratitude to the Irish people for making this Greek feel so at home at such an important time for his country. - Yours, etc.,

MANOLIS ANDROPOULOS, Athens, Greece.

(Waterford were playing in the Munster final that weekend!)


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Dan Shanahan does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Dan Shanahan is pain.
Dan Shanahan counted to infinity - twice.
Dan Shanahan can slam revolving doors.
Superman owns a pair of Dan Shanahan pyjamas.
Dan Shanahan is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Dan Shanahan can divide by zero.
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Dan Shanahan.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Dan Shanahan says its beef, then it's beef.
Dan Shanahan has only one hand: the upper hand.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Dan.
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Dan Shanahan during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
Water boils faster when Dan Shanahan watches it.
Dan Shanahan doesn't have hair on his balls, because hair does not grow on steel...!!!