Misc Quotes

Roscommon fan after the controversial 1980 All-Ireland final:
Hi ref, how's your dog?
Ref: What do you mean? I don't have a dog.
Fan: That's strange. You're the first blind man I've ever met that doesn't have a guide dog!

I used to think it was great being a wee nippy corner forward, but it's better now being a big, fat one. Ollie Murphy

They shot the wrong Micheal Collins - Ollie Murphy to referee Micheal Collins after Donegal beat Meath in last year's championship.

He'll regret this to his dying day, if he lives that long. - Dublin fan after Charlie Redmond missed a penalty in the 1994 All-Ireland final.

Now listen lads, I'm not happy with our tackling. We're hurting them but they keep getting up. - John B.Keane ventures into coaching

Behind every Galway player there is another Galway player. - Meath fan at the 2001 All-Ireland final.

When Joe Brolly is winning, he's objectionable. When he's blowing kisses, he's highly objectionable. - Cavan fan

He wouldn't see a foul in a henhouse. Frustrated Sligo fan's judgment of the ref after the 2002 Connacht final.

There are two things in Ireland that would drive you to drink. GAA referees would drive you to drink and the price of drink would drive you to drink. Another Sligo fan at the same match.

You get more contact in an old-time waltz at the old-folks' home than in a National League final. - Pat Spillane

Davey Forde wouldn't be a free-taker if you boiled him in a pot - TOM RYAN after the 1999 Munser Final where Forde missed a tap-over free with 5 minutes to go.

'We're taking this match awful seriously. We're training three times a week now, and some of the boys are off the beer since Tuesday' - typical Offaly hurler quote in the week before an All-Ireland final

Football is a game for those not good enough to play hurling.TONY WALL.

Hurling is the Riverdance of sport. LIAM GRIFFEN

Ger Loughnane was fair, he treated us all the same during training-like dogs.ANONYMOUS CLARE HURLER.

Any chance of an autograph. Its for the wife. She really hates you. TIPP FAN
TO GER LOUGHNANE.

I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipp. If I had my way, I
wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in. GER LOUGHNANE on his controversial selection policy.

I say nothing but i never stop talking. GER LOUGHNANE on his media interviews.

The GAA is an amateur association run by professionals. The FAI is a professional body run by amateurs. FAN DURING THE ROY KEANE SAGA

Pat fox has it on his hurl and is motoring well now...but here comes Joe rabitte hot on his tail...Ive seen it all now: a rabbit chasing a fox around croke park. MICHAEL O MUIRCHEARTAIGH

You cant win derbies with donkeys. BABS KEATING BEFORE TIPP PLAYED CORK IN
1990.

Sheep in a heap. BABS KEATING description of Offaly in 1998.

Babs keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him. OFFALY FAN IN 1998.

And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this shower of useless no-hopers.FORMER CLARE MENTOR TO 1 OF HIS SUBS AFTER A HEAVY DEFEAT.

Babs keating was arrested in Nenagh for shaking a cigarette machine, but the gardai let him off when he said he only wanted to borrow twenty players. WATERFORD FAN AFTER 2002 MUNSTER FINAL

They have a forward line that couldn't punch holes in a paper bag.
PAT SPILLANE ON THE CAVAN TEAM.

The first half was even, the second half was even worse. - Pat Spillane reflects on an Ulster Championship clash.

Meath players like to get their retaliation in first. - Cork fan in 1988.

Meath make football a colorful game - you get all black and blue. -
Another Cork fan.

We're taking you off but we're not bothering to put on a sub. Just having you off will improve our situation. - Manager to a club player in Derry.

I warned the boys they couldn't go through the league unbeaten, and, unfortunately, they appear to have listened to me! - Tyrone's Art McRory after losing a league match.

(Reporter interviews Kevin Moran on TV after the 1978 All-Ireland final)
Reporter: How's the leg Kevin?
Kevin Moran: It's fuc..... it's very sore.

He's as useless as a back pocket in a vest. - Kerry fan on Colin Corkery.

Colin Corkery is deceptive. He's slower than he looks. - Kerry fan

I think Mickey Whelan believes tactics are a new kind of piles on your arse. - Disgruntled Dublin fan

Q: What's the difference between Paddy Cullen and a turnstile?
A: A turnstile only lets in one at a time. - Kerry fan after Cullen conceded five goals in the 1978 All-Ireland final.

The rules of Meath football are basically simple: if it moves, kick it; if it doesn't move, kick it until it does. - Tyrone fan after a controversial All-Ireland semi-final.

A Kerry footballer with an inferiority complex is one who thinks he's just as good as everybody else. - John B. Keane

Life isn't all beer and football: some of us haven't touched a football in months. - A Kerry player during the league in the early 1980's.


1. I love Cork so much that if I caught one of their hurlers in bed
with my missus, I'd tiptoe downstairs and make him a cup of tea"- Joe
Lynch, actor.


2. "We've won one All-Ireland in a row"-Wexford Fan in 1996.


3. "The toughest match I ever heard off was the 1935 All-Ireland
Semi-Final. After 6 minutes, the ball ricocheted off a post and went
into the stand. The pulling continued relentlessly and it was 22 minutes
before any of the players noticed the ball was missing" - Michael Smith.


4. "Sylvie Linnane would start a riot in a graveyard"-Tipp fan on
the Galway legend.

5. "I'm not giving away any secrets like that to Tipperary. If I
had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the throw-in" - Ger
Loughnane.


7. "Whenever a team loses, there's always a row at half time but
when they win, it's an inspirational speech"-John O'Mahony.

8. "There are 2 things in Ireland that would drive you to drink.
GAA referees would drive you to drink, and the price of drink would drive
you to drink"-Sligo Fan after 2002 Connact final.


10. "When my friends were besotted with Jason Donovan, my heroes
were Colm O'Rourke and Barney Rock"-Sue Ramsbottom (Laois Ladies Captain).




14. 'You can't win derbies with donkeys' - Babs Keating before Tipp
played Cork in 1990

15. 'Sheep in a heap' -Babs Keating description of Offaly in 1998

16. 'Babs Keating 'resigned' as coach because of illness and
fatigue. The players were sick and tired of him' - Offaly fan in 1998

17. 'And as for you. You're not even good enough to play for this
shower of useless no-hopers' - Former Clare mentor to one of his subs after a
heavy defeat


"When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd scored one."
RTE Commentator George Hamilton

"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"
George Hamilton as Butregueno comes off against Ireland.

"I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it."
Jack Charlton on hurling.

Taken from AN FEAR RUUA

The One and Only - The Great GAA Quotes
"Is the ref going to finally blow his whistle?... No, he's going to blow his nose!" - Radio Kilkenny commentator

"It’s all over... Clare are... Jeeeesus !!" - Matthew McMahon, Clare FM (at the end of the Munster Final 1995)

"The cigarettes are being lit here in the Commentary Box. The lads are getting anxious. It’s a line ball down there to Clare and who is to take it?... Will ye put 'em out lads! Ye'll choke me." - Matthew McMahon, Clare FM (During the 1995 hurling All-Ireland)

" Ollie Murphy is after throwing so many dummies, you would'nt see the likes in a creche " - Kevin Mallon on n LM/FM local radio

‘And it looks like there’s a bit of a schemozzle in the parallellogram” – A favourite euphemism of Mícheál O’Hehir’s

‘And Tom Cheasty breaks through with Kilkenny defenders falling around him like dying wasps’ – the legendary Mícheál O’Hehir

From the great Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh:

“And Brian Dooher is down injured. And while he is, I’ll tell ye a little story. I was in Times Square in New York last week, and I was missing the Championship back home. So I approached a newsstand and I said 'I suppose ye wouldn't have ‘The Kerryman would ye?' To which the Egyptian behind the counter turned to me and he said 'Do you want the North Kerry edition or the South Kerry edition?'... He had both... So I bought both. And Dooher is back on his feet..."

"Anthony Lynch the Cork corner back will be the last person to let you down - his people are undertakers"

"I saw a few Sligo people at Mass in Gardiner Street this morning and the omens seem to be good for them. The priest was wearing the same colours as the Sligo jersey! Forty yards out on the Hogan stand side of the field Ciarán Whelan goes on a rampage, its a goal. So much for religion."

Colin Corkery on the ‘45’ lets go with the right boot. It’s over the bar. This man shouldn't be playing football. He's made an almost Lazarus-like recovery from a heart condition. Lazarus was a great man but he couldn't kick points like Colin Corkery.

"1-5 to 0-8… Well, from Lapland to the Antarctic, that's level scores in any man's language".

"Pat Fox has it on his hurley and is motoring well now ... But here comes Joe Rabbitte hot on his tail ... I've seen it all now - a Rabbitte chasing a Fox around Croke Park!"

"I see John O Donnell dispensing water on the sideline. Tipperary, sponsored by a water company. Cork Sponsored by a tay company. I wonder will they meet later for afternoon tay."

"Teddy looks at the ball, the ball looks at Teddy"

"Danny "The Yank" Culloty. He came down from the mountains and hasn't he done well"

"He grabs the sliothar, he's on the 50...... He's on the 40...... He's on the 30...... He's on the ground"

"In the first half they played with the wind. In the second half they played with the ball".

"He kicks the ball ard san aer. Could've been a goal. Could've been a point.... It went wide."

"Stephen Byrne with the puck out for Offaly... Stephen, one of twelve ... All but one are here to-day. The one that's missing is Mary. She's at home minding the house… And the ball is dropping i lár na páirce...."

"Pat Fox out to the forty and grabs the sliothar. I bought a dog from his father last week. Fox turns and sprints for goal. The dog ran a great race last Tuesday in Limerick. Fox to the 21 fires a shot, it goes to the left and wide… And the dog lost as well.”

"Sean Óg Ó hAilpín.... His father's from Fermanagh, his mother's from Fiji - neither a hurling stronghold

"Teddy McCarthy to Mick McCarthy, no relation, Mick McCarthy back to Teddy McCarthy, still no relation "

Equally famous, but in his own part of the world, a man called Eddie Moroney commentated on video for his local club in Aherlow, County Tipperary:

“That referee must have no wipers on his glasses!”

“And it’s in the back of the net, but there’s a free out to be taken by I dunno…”

“Brian Connolly… Kenneally … Connolly … Will ya kick the ball!”

“And the referee is looking around and acting the mickey!”

“Me false teeth are coming out!”

Some of the best examples of encouragement to players, on the field and off ...

"God would you rise it McMahon! If ‘twas a skirt you'd lift it quick enough!..." -
A spectator’s words of encouragement at Athenry, in county Galway as a player struggled to heroically to lift the sliothar.

“Lock the gates and make the shaggers stay and watch!’ – A shout from Meath football fans at the All Ireland semi-final of 2001, as their team toyed with Kerry, while Kingdom fans fled the terraces in droves.

What would the President want to see me for?" - Christy Ring, on being told President Hillery wanting to meet him at the first entire production of Val Dorgan’s play called 'The Hurler'

"If Dorgan hadn’t been a Glenman I would have walked out" – Christy Ring on seeing the play ‘The Hurler’

"Wrap up those sandwiches and put them in the deep freeze for the replay" – A cry heard from the terraces at the 1996 Munster hurling final. Tipperary had led by nine points at half time but Limerick came back, with the scores level with 4 minutes to go.

An inter-county player was sounding out Christy Ring on what aspects of play various players would be remembered for. "What will I be remembered for?", he asked... "Nothing", came the reply.

"Keep your eye on the ball, even when it's in the referee's pocket" – Ring’s advice to aspiring hurlers.

"He ate the shite out of us" said an Offaly player of Eamon Cregan’s half time speech in the 1994 senior hurling All Ireland

‘Ye can put out the cigarettes now lads. This is championship!’ – Meath football mentor in a senior football club, just before the lads took the field